Is Your Love on Target? Use “The Five Love Languages” to More Accurately Deliver Your Messages of Love and Improve Your Marriage
Picture a skydiver, guiding herself back to earth, aiming for a big heart-shaped target on the ground below. As she maneuvers her parachute towards a “bulls-eye” landing, a forceful gust of wind blows her off her mark and she lands in the tall grass nearby. Have you ever had a similar experience trying to hit a bulls-eye with love?
Well, if you want to do all you can to make sure your love messages hit their mark, you’ll want to read Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. It’s about communicating love so that the person with whom you’re communicating will definitely get your message, and you won’t be standing in the tall grass wondering what went wrong.
Below is my summary of The Five Love Languages. If you’ve read the book and want to comment, go for it! Or, tell us about another relationship resource you suggest we review for a future post. We welcome your input, so join the conversation!
Until then, may your love notes land smoothly and safely in your beloved’s heart.
In The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, Dr. Gary Chapman clearly explains his ideas:
- According to Dr. Chapman, there are five main ways to communicate love.
- Words of Affirmation — Language that clearly communicates that we are loved and appreciated
- Quality Time — Undivided attention and focused time that shows us that the other person really cares about us
- Receiving Gifts — Things we’re given–homemade or purchased–that let us know that we’re cared for and valued
- Acts of Service — Doing things for us or on our behalf, so that we are assured that the other person loves us
- Physical Touch — Touching, whether casual or intimate, that communicates the other person’s affection for us
- Each of us has a preferred way to receive expressions of love (our “primary love language”).
- To most effectively communicate love in our relationships, we need to speak the primary love language of the person to whom we want to show our love.
Here are the original wedding vows of Tricia & Lance Secretan who married on May 29, 1993. They recite these unique romantic wedding vows to each other spontaneously and actively keep these commitments alive in the way they live.
I want you to know that I love you,
And I will for the rest of my days.
I will trust and respect you,
Tell the truth and embrace you.
Every day. All the time. And always.
For the rest of our lives together
Every day in your favor I’ll bend;
I’ll make rain seem like dew -
I’ll make you smile when you’re blue.
That’s forever and ever. Amen.