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Unhappily ever after — when marriage isn’t working

So 6 in 10 women aren’t sure if they would remarry their current husbands if given the chance (So said a recent poll from Woman’s Day/AOL that I wrote about on January 9.). That means that only 4 in 10 women would tie the knot again with the same man. To me that says that 60% of marriages are in sore shape.

Why marriage isn’t working

Now, since I’m the joyfully married coauthor of a book focused on preparing for marriage, I’m bound to have quite a few ideas about why these women are unhappy. Though each woman is an individual and each relationship is unique, here are some of the unhappiness factors that I’m confident are impacting many if not most of these married couples.

  • Focus was misplaced on the wedding instead of the marriage
  • Couple doesn’t communicate WITH each other honestly and openly
  • Wife (and husband too) doesn’t truly know what she (or he) wants
  • Emphasis is on what’s NOT working rather than what IS working
  • Couple isn’t taking the time to forgive each other
  • Relationship takes a back seat to other parts of life
  • Wife (or husband or both) is playing not to get hurt

“It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.”

~ Mother Teresa

I’ll expand on these thoughts, and maybe even add other ideas, in upcoming posts. If you have your own hypotheses about why more than half of married women aren’t happy in their marriages, please comment away.


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4 Comments »

  1. [...] and, most importantly, how you can create a happier more satisfying relationship. Read posts 1-Unhappily ever after, 2-Are weddings ruining marriages?, 3-Healthy conversation tips for couples, 4-Required information [...]

    Pingback by In a good marriage, hurt is part of the game — July 17, 2007 @ 9:57 pm

  2. [...] importantly, how you can make the shift to a happier more satisfying relationship. Read posts 1-Unhappily ever after, 2-Are weddings ruining marriages?, 3-Healthy conversation tips for couples, 4-Required information [...]

    Pingback by Sweet forgiveness — the power tool for healthy marriages — July 17, 2007 @ 9:59 pm

  3. [...] importantly, how you can make the shift to a happier more satisfying relationship. Read posts 1-Unhappily ever after, 2-Are weddings ruining marriages?, 3-Healthy conversation tips for couples, and 4-Required [...]

    Pingback by Problem-proof your marriage with one simple change — July 17, 2007 @ 10:00 pm

  4. [...] I pose this question because overemphasis on wedding planning (versus marriage preparation) is one of the reasons I think a recent poll showed that 6 out of 10 women weren’t sure they’d remarry their current husbands if they could “do it over.” (The original post, and all the reasons I cite for marital dissatisfaction are listed here — Unhappily ever after). [...]

    Pingback by Are weddings ruining marriages? — June 28, 2012 @ 12:43 pm

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