Unhappily ever after — when marriage isn’t working
So 6 in 10 women aren’t sure if they would remarry their current husbands if given the chance (So said a recent poll from Woman’s Day/AOL that I wrote about on January 9.). That means that only 4 in 10 women would tie the knot again with the same man. To me that says that 60% of marriages are in sore shape.
Why marriage isn’t working
Now, since I’m the joyfully married coauthor of a book focused on preparing for marriage, I’m bound to have quite a few ideas about why these women are unhappy. Though each woman is an individual and each relationship is unique, here are some of the unhappiness factors that I’m confident are impacting many if not most of these married couples.
- Focus was misplaced on the wedding instead of the marriage
- Couple doesn’t communicate WITH each other honestly and openly
- Wife (and husband too) doesn’t truly know what she (or he) wants
- Emphasis is on what’s NOT working rather than what IS working
- Couple isn’t taking the time to forgive each other
- Relationship takes a back seat to other parts of life
- Wife (or husband or both) is playing not to get hurt
“It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.”
~ Mother Teresa
I’ll expand on these thoughts, and maybe even add other ideas, in upcoming posts. If you have your own hypotheses about why more than half of married women aren’t happy in their marriages, please comment away.
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