Sweet forgiveness — the power tool for healthy marriages
If you don’t regularly take time to fully forgive your husband or wife, your marriage won’t last.
While this may sound like an exaggeration, it’s not. Resentment–which is what happens when we don’t forgive our partner–is a terminal disease in relationships. When you resent your spouse, you’re dissolving the bond of love between you and you’re making yourself into the victim. Over time you’ll find that even “petty” issues inflame your anger and when this happens the end isn’t far from sight . . . unless you take radical action–Offer your mate your full forgiveness.
Let go of how you think he/she “should have” behaved. Stop judging her/him for something done in the past. Refuse to repeatedly rehash an old hurt. Don’t gripe about some former action that can’t now be undone.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
~ Mother Teresa
Want some help in exercising your forgiveness muscles?
We have a handout that we use with couples practicing forgiveness. Please feel free to download the Practicing Forgiveness Handout and use it in your relationships. If you have any questions about the process, please use the Comments section at the bottom of the post to send it to us. We’ll answer back as soon as possible.
Forgiveness is not the misguided act of condoning irresponsible, hurtful behavior. Nor is it a superficial turning of the other cheek that leaves us feeling victimized and martyred. Rather it is the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past.
~ Joan Borysenko, Ph.D.
This post is #6 in the series exploring the reasons why couples are unhappy in marriage and, most importantly, how you can make the shift to a happier more satisfying relationship. Read posts 1-Unhappily ever after, 2-Are weddings ruining marriages?, 3-Healthy conversation tips for couples, 4-Required information on the road to a happy, fulfilling life, and 5-Problem-proof your marriage with one simple change.
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[…] the road to a happy, fulfilling life, 5-Problem-proof your marriage with one simple change, and 6-Sweet forgiveness — the power tool for healthy marriages. Filed under: Relationship tips, Communication, Marriage, Love by Shonnie | on April 6, 2007 […]
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