wedding vows, free wedding vows from The Marriage Vow Workbook
personal samples of wedding vows, blog, relationship tipsevents, wedding vows planning, marriage enrichment Ashevillesecond marriage tips, best engagement gifts, Marriage Vow Workbookresources for engaged couples, civil marriage vow samples, non religious wedding vowswriting my own wedding vows, simple wedding vows, mediahow to write wedding vows, 
Bruce Mulkey, Shonnie Lavendercontact Bruce Mulkey, contact Shonnie Lavender, contact Marriage Vow Workbooktips for a successful wedding and marriage, wedding vows, wedding vows renewals

Who takes responsibility in your relationship?

Cleaning up a mess in your relationhipI think that a healthy relationship is one in which, when their is “poop” to clean up, both partners pitch in. Though we don’t generally like to look at the messy parts of our marriages, they are a great window into our relationship health.

For many of us, it’s easy to place blame when things aren’t rosy. We live in a culture (definitely in the US at least), where blaming is becoming an instinct in relationships large and small. One of the main problems with blaming, however, is that it improves nothing. It might soothe your ego for a short while to think that your hubby or your wife has done you wrong, but once that high is gone, you’re likely to feel quite blue.

As long as you can find someone else to blame for anything you are doing, you cannot be held accountable or responsible for your growth or the lack of it.

~ Sun Bear

So, if you want to feel better AND resolve your problems, stop blaming and start taking responsibility for what’s being created in your life. Note to all martyrs: Taking responsibility does NOT mean saying “It’s all my fault” and condemning yourself as the guilty party. That never works either. Taking responsibility means owning your part/role in what happened, taking action to rectify the situation, and giving your partner the space to do the same.

As you move away from the “gotcha” blame game, you’re likely to find that not only are messes more quickly cleaned up, but that they even stop getting created in the first place.


Related Posts



No Comments »

RSS feed for comments on this post. | TrackBack URI
You can also bookmark this on del.icio.us or check the cosmos

Leave a comment





XHTML ( You can use these tags): <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong> .