Have more fun with your spouse
Though Bruce and I definitely advocate spending time working on relationships (i.e., investing time to make them as fulfilling as possible), we think that sometimes work should be the last thing on your list. Many couples, including us, need to find ways to bring more PLAY into our partnerships.
Play nourishes you both physically and emotionally. . . . In addition to nourishing you physically and emotionally, couple play directly and intensely adds zest to your relationship. It strengthens your bonds with each other. . . . it gives you an important tool for coping with various challenges and problems.
~ Drs. Jeanette & Robert Lauer
As children, we all knew how to play. We knew how to have fun, laugh, be silly, create, enjoy, savor, relax. We were experts at living in the moment and doing what we wanted to do (instead of what we “should” do). As “responsible adults,” however, we may have forgotten how to play, or simply don’t think of play as important. Here are three factors that Jeanette and Robert Lauer, authors of The Play Solution: How to put the fun and excitement back into your relationship, say keep couples from being playful:
- “The ‘act your age’ trap” — Many of us think play is for kids and let the belief that we’ll been seen as childish, immature, or silly keep us from playing or having fun.
- “The tyranny of schedules” — We live in a busy world where we’re go, go, go from early morning until late at night and our schedules are bursting with meetings, appointments, chores, and other responsibilities that leave us little time for play.
- “The long arm of work” — If we’re not busy because of our own desires, we’re often occupied with professional pursuits and demands of our jobs, so play gets pushed even further down our list of priorities.
Bring play back into your lives
So, before we all get too cranky or too forgetful to remember how to play, let’s follow some of the Lauer’s tips.
Create a “play profile” to identify your favorite types of play (e.g., social, cultural, love, physical, humor, games).- Identify your “play quotient” as a couple so you’ll know if you’re getting the “right amount” of play for each of you.
- Go for a laugh a day so that laughter and lightness are part of your everyday relationship. (The book offers 10 specific tips for getting your RDA of laughter.
- Be spontaneously playful by adapting your routine so you don’t get stuck in a rut. Again, the book is filled with concrete ideas.
- Make intimacy and sex playful and fun. This can include everything from writing love notes to each other to creating “love feasts.” Check the book for examples.
Don’t take our word for it. Go out, get your own copy of The Play Solution: How to put the fun and excitement back into your relationship, then start playing. There’s no better time than right now to make your marriage more fun!
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