“You don’t have to sit on top of a mountain to discover what is right for you. You always know in your heart what you need to do. But you do have to ask yourself if you’re willing to make choices. Put yourself in a position where you’re making choices about your life, rather than letting other people make those choices for you. That’s what balance is all about.”~ Liz Dolan
In my book, Live the Life You’ve Imagined, I have a chapter titled, “Create Your Ideal Life Recipe,” where I offer ten questions for contemplation. Though I wrote this book for an individual to use, I think that these same questions can be powerful and illuminating for a couple as well. Below are the ten “ideal life recipe” questions adapted for couples. I encourage you to answer them individually (i.e., write your perspective on the answer) then talk about what you’ve written.
What ingredients make your relationship rich & rewarding?
- Who are we?
- What are we passionate about?
- What qualities do the people we admire possess?
- What do we need to be our best?
- What nurtures, renews, or inspires us?
- Who do we want in our life?
- Where or when do we feel limited,
shut down, or sapped of energy?
- Do we have enough time just for us?
- How do we know that we are valued, appreciated, and loved?
- How would we live if we knew we would die one year from now?
Once you have your answers and have talked together about what you’ve discovered, there’s one more key–ACTION. Choose just one area/item that you’d like to more fully realize in your marriage and start taking steps to create that new reality. If you’re willing to share what you decided, or what you discovered, feel free to use our comments area (you can even be anonymous if you like).