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Writing your own wedding vows

Writing your own wedding vows may seem like an imposing task, especially with all of the other matters to be handled when planning a wedding ceremony. But the process can really be inspiring and help you remember why you’ve chosen this special person to walk through life with you.

Below are a few tips that will help you write wedding vows that are compelling, authentic and enduring, vows will wow your family and guests and last for a lifetime.

  1. Write vows in the positive (e.g., “I will treat you with respect,” instead of, “I will not be disrespectful toward you.”).
  2. Write vows in the way you speak. If you’re plainspoken, write your vows that way and leave flowery prose to others.
  3. Write vows that have a sense of the sacred. Such vows come from deep within and you will willingly take them on. If a vow seems to be a directive, a command, or an ultimatum, set it aside and choose another.
  4. Write vows that are broad enough to apply to your life today and your life fifty years from now.
  5. Write vows that make you feel joyful, inspired, excited, and optimistic.
  6. Write vows using bold language. Examples include “I will,” “I commit to,” “As your partner/husband/wife/friend/lover I intend to . . .”
  7. Write vows that matter to you and your partner, that authentically express what’s in your heart. Your vows are for the two of you, though you may wish to ask your family and/or your community to support you in keeping them.
  8. Once written, read your vows aloud to make sure the language flows well; revise any awkward sections or phrases that you might stumble on. Do a run-through before the wedding day to get comfortable saying your vows.
  9. If you intend to memorize your vows, keep a copy of them with you during the ceremony, just in case. Or have the officiant lead you through them, with the officiant saying them first and you repeating them afterward.
  10. Coordinate your efforts with your officiant. Remember that some religions have restrictions on the vows that can be used in a marriage ceremony. Your officiant may be able to offer suggestions for your vows and incorporate them seamlessly into the ceremony.

Be sure to check out some sample wedding vows by clicking on “” under Categories in the sidebar. There you’ll find a number of samples including romantic wedding vows and more.


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